Next Day From The Desk

 Birthdays cause grief in the lives of many people. I have bad news...there's one coming next year and the year after that. If you are lucky. Oh yeah, you'll be one year older too. Sad but it is true. Get over it.
 I wanna say I LOVE ALL the amazing people I met this past year...maybe not all, but most of you. Life is amazing get off you ass and live it.
  I hope I don't come off as arrogant, rude or crass.  If you're not moving, cant go forward for looking at the past. I'm on a mission, excuse me I'm coming by, let me pass!
Game on.

Damn Moon

Pages fall from the calendar,
like leaves on a Red Oak
in mid-September.

Friends come and go,
with the same hopes
that they'll be remember .

Another one has come and gone.
As hard as it gets,
I don't feel alone.

I think I can go, a few more rounds
I'm gonna keep pushing up,
so nothing holds me down.

Who'd I show love,
who did I show not?
When they were hungry...around
my table, i can't find a spot?


Ashes to ash, dust to dust.
To many we love, too few
do we trust.
This is the question we'll be asked,
 not one but all of us.

Look, look at the damn moon...

Short Road

Cut down so hard,
run hard so long.
It twas such a short trip,

till you went home.

It started out so bleak,
sometimes it got rough.
You,
held your head up, that's
that's what made you
so tough.

That which I live by...by that I will die. 

Not sure how that works now.
BUT, one thing for sure...

we all gonna die...

Live by?

R.I.P. Lil Man

Today

Time stood still five years ago, 

 since then I guard my heart 

cause, you never know.

That one second froze time...
for some years and months,
others only days.
For some, today will pass
like a smoky haze.

Please, stop look at the smile on his face,
the twinkle in his eye.
He loved hard, he played hard,
and he worked hard.

Can't you hear him say with a smile and a sigh...
"Don't worry. It's gonna be okay. Make a memory, share a memory. TODAY!

River's

River's of worry,
power of pain!

The groaning inside  me,
goes even deeper again.


My need for drink,
is not the same.


Desert water, urban rain.
What life's
formed in me.

Is hard to contain...

river rain...

New Beginning

That pain we feel...
seems like it will rip
out our heart.

But, it was not a rip at all,
but a shell being cracked, 
releasing a seed.

It must fall
into the ground,
die,
bringing forth
new fruit.

Listen

What is that drip, drip, drip...is it blood?
Will some one die because they broke their heart will
lose too much?

drip drip drip...what is that? Water? from where
someone failed to stop the flow because they were trying
 to drown in their pain and sorrow that they couldn't let go?

No, it's tears from someone who didn't wanting to see you go,
there are rips and tears, holes of hurt and anger everywhere...then concentrated
 love spills trough from every event, from every harsh word
and even that last threat...we will lose them if there is  no regret........dip drip drip...

are they  gonna make it.....BEEP______________________________________________

 Life Is 

Life is so unpredictable and emotions 
are so fragile.
When life puts something on us, it is oh 

so gentle and yet very agile...........sometimes
not.......................

Making Plans

i planned to to tell you i loved you the other night

..but then you got mad and i fell asleep.

We planned to save more money but the baby

got sick and we spend all we had,

there wasn't much left for even us to eat.

i didn't plan to stay out that late, and you sho didn't

intend to spend that much money...even when your pet
 squirrel bite Pumpkin, it  didn't drive your honey away.

they didn't plan to mistreat us...
and when daddy got mad

he didn't plan to beat us.

i planned to ask you to forgive me..but you

turned and walked away.

you looked back with a sneer..and said you didn't

wanna hear a word i had to say.

So much for my plans...guess i need to speak up and

address the issues at hand.
instead i'm waiting for another day to make a stand.

...i'm so glad i kissed you one last time and told you

i love you and that everything would be just fine.

With all my plans..and with all my intentions,
you up and went away it seemed like in a instant.

Things never go the way that we plan.......

In memory of Johnnie Nelson Upton a.k.a. Yang Yang

April 23, 1914

April 13, 2012

Whether The Weather

What does it look like

outside?... not sure how I feel

My knees hurt, they be stiff and

I refuse to bow down.

My feet ache, I don't wanna

walk in circles the way

you walk around.

My eyes are shut tight becuz

yesterdays confusion created

a disturbing night

...but I'm looking at today with my eyes

wide open becuz tomorrow..the future.. looks

oh so bright.

My heart feels warm ..theres a healing touch

soothing on my neck and melting away the dread.

There's a cool breeze that chill my teeth

as i look up and smile..and sigh...

looks like good weather ahead.....

What's On Me

What's this on my shirt,

Is it chocolate from your sweetness,

the way you support me

overlooking my weakness

Is it blood,

from the struggles along the way

or wounds from the battles I've lost when

I could not find the right thing say.

What's this on my shirt?

Will this go away, like it never happened

or will it stay..so I have to

look at this blotch all day?

Is it sweat,

where I've worked and toiled.

Could it be where i've fallen down and got back up

only to find out that I've been soiled?

The sun has washed me, i feel warm all over...

maybe it's sweat I've shed from moving

obstacle's and situations that have chase

my buzz away and left me sober..

What's on my shirt, is it a tear?

Maybe one..just one slipped out,

that night i met fear...then fear made me

sweat and I lost my grip..

I fell down, hit my head...that damn

sweat is causing me to trip.

life's all over me

What's this on my shirt?